I’m mad..

I’m feeling on the verge of an explosion and I’m not sure exactly why.. I seriously feel like a bunch of tears or coming my way… I seriously just want to go in the shower, because I haven’t yet today and feel completely gross and put some music on and cry under the water.. Katie is quietly watching “Katie” or in other words our Cayman DVD. Brandon is drinking some milk. Brianna and Conner are cleaning up downstairs.

I just talked to Brian and I feel all mad at the world.. I just feel like I’m about to jump out of my skin at any moment. Totally ready for today to be over and done with..

I don’t know.. I feel tired which makes no sense since I feel like going for a run at the same time and I don’t run LOL..


I don’t have much else to say because I just typed a novel to my friend kelly and now I feel kind of typed out..

I will say this though, why can’t I have these feelings during counseling. Why do I always feel fine and dandy on counseling days, except for last week when I was all irritable. I mean.. maybe if my counselor saw me when I was all depressed and or crazy feeling like this I would be getting somewhere..

I just spent the afternoon looking at past entries from each year and see such a pattern of my depression and craziness surrounding my quiet time on LJ..

I guess I should be happy that I have a record of it all..


I’m done..


7 thoughts on “I’m mad..”

  1. (((HUGS))) I’m sorry šŸ˜¦ I understand how you are feeling because I go through this too…what’s the worst part is when you’re not sure what it is making you feel like this there is no way to fix it…I hope you get to feeling better soon though.


  2. Aww hun, I’m praying for you sweety! I dont know if its possible but I highly suggest a good work out.. maybe in the evenings after dinner going for a nice long walk by yourself.. you’ll be amazed how much better you feel (HUGS)


  3. Get out, go run, take a hot shower, bawl your eyes out. Let it out, Veronica… you don’t have to hold it in.

    I’m sorry your day has been so rough.


  4. (((Sending you big hugs)))

    It sounds like you need them right now. I have suffered with depression before and I know how horrible it can be. I hope that you find something that will help you cope with everything soon. If you need to cry, sweetie…do it!! That release can help you cope better so when your heart is so heavy you need that – go for it!!

    ***Hugs again***


  5. perhaps you are like me… I don’t seek counseling because I know that I won’t be portraying the times I had issues. (I used to have massive panic attacks and get so angry at everyone and everything.) All my life we set up as the happy little family when my dad was drinking away his paycheck, beating us up and the finally abandoned us. I always knew that my peace in life was going to have to come from me. But to that end, I knew if I went into counseling, even just the thought of going would make me oh things are fine, they are good, been doing what you said la dee da. I would reveal some things but not the worst. That fear that someone might find out I am broken…

    Anyway sweetie, Maybe you should print out some of these entries and show them to the counselor. (((HUGS))) I don’t know anything to say, but know that I am here for you.


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